Ask Lady Joan

The Meaning of “Sex Positive”

December 13, 2009

Trainrek media, and especially Ask Lady Joan and The Oh Team shows bill themselves as “sex positive”. I got thinking about that term this week, and realized after some reading, that I didn’t have a full appreciation of the meaning of the term.

The best definition I found is this one:

Sex-positive, a term that’s coming into cultural awareness, isn’t a dippy love-child celebration of orgone – it’s a simple yet radical affirmation that we each grow our own passions on a different medium, that instead of having two or three or even half a dozen sexual orientations, we should be thinking in terms of millions. “Sex-positive” respects each of our unique sexual profiles, even as we acknowledge that some of us have been damaged by a culture that tries to eradicate sexual difference and possibility.

–Carol Queen

Web sites and events are popping up all over to affirm this definition and spread the word.

Here are a few of the best that I found:

www.fetlife.com : A haven for the kinkiest among us. It’s a great networking site to connect with events and people in your area, and to share information on discussion threads with contributions from kinksters around the world.

www.carnalnation.com : A site full of high profile contributors (including midori) with fascinating reading, and even a comic strip for sex workers.

www.scarleteen.com : Full of practical information about anatomy, different sexual practices and safety suggestions, aimed at the younger crowd, but definitely something for everyone. I learned some things I didn’t know before.

www.sexwillhappen.com : Billing itself as “sex positive”, this site covers everything from world wide events, to some interesting interviews about its purpose and intent.

All of this discussion is helpful and encouraging for those of us who have always felt we don’t quite fit society’s mold. They are inclusive and welcoming of differences. Wherever you fit in the spectrum, you belong.

It’s all very liberating and refreshing.

“Sex positive” means a lot more than the freedom to say and do what comes naturally for you. It means accepting the same freedom for others, and encouraging them to be their authentic selves.

I hope you find that the Ask Lady Joan show lives up to that standard for you!