Ask Lady Joan

I have been approached and asked if I do workshops.  I had not thought about this before and wondered why I have not.   Although I did do one on high protocol for the P-N group.

As I am thinking of branching out into a new field of work, I have been pondering this in the mist of everything else that has been going on in my life.

I can think of two workshops I can do already, one is the high protocol dinner one, the other is communicating.  As I do a talk show and I am very good with my communicating skills and often I have been asked to tell people how I get others to open up to me and feel comfortable very quickly.  I am not sure I can teach what I do naturally, but I sure could do an hour or more on giving some great ideas for people in this lifestyle of how to become better communicators.

This is exciting as well as scary, as anything new can be.  I will keep you all up to date on how this pans out and perhaps one day I will be in your town doing a workshop.

I would love to ask my fans and listeners to write in what they would like to see me doing workshops on.  So if your reading this, please do write me.

Lately I find that it is very important to me to touch people, more so my friends.  Some I want to touch more.  For me there is a sense of security when I connect with touch.  It’s not the same as looking, or talking.

I find it is hightened and the reason being that this year, I have had two major emotional experiences, which I wish upon no one.  A broken heart from lost of love and a broken soul from the lost of a mother.

I find a different connection and a emotional need depending on the relationship I have with the person I want to touch.  With friends it is a connection of a social  need to make sure they are aware of knowing I love them and so greatful they are in my life.   There is one, whom I hesitate to say I want to connect with for the warmth of a deeper nature and connection, I fine I feel safe with him although the safeness is also forbodin, as I fear of it leaving.  But I draw to touch of him, because I need to feel connected to affection and caring.  He has offered me this without me asking and he seems to know what I need before I do.

What a wonderful guest Rob’s mom made tonight.  I enjoyed the conversation very much.  It’s wonderful to know that sex lives on as we age and not only in men, but women as well.

I once watched an Oprah show, where women  were talking about sex after menopause.  A lot said they lost their sex drive.  I think that is what happened to my mom.  I remember running to the Doctor and asking him if this was true, as I enjoy my high sex drive and do not want to loose  the passion.

He said, ever woman  is different, if you have a low sex drive now, that maybe possible, if on the other hand you have a high sex drive it is unlikely you will loose it.  It may tone down, but the passion will still be there.

As much as I hate having my period, I know it helps to maintain my sexual appetite, so I’m no longer rushing to have my change of live and my period to stop, but I also know that it does happen, I will still be a sexual being and have a sex drive.. Yippeeee….

How many time have I heard this, not only from my own lips but from those around me.  It always seems when we do things that are not enjoyable, like doing dishes, taking the garbage out, changing the toilet paper, etc.  We all want to know why it’s it always my job.

I lately feel this way about my full time job.  I certainly don’t get paid enough, but as I need the job for the money I do make to pay bills and rent and eat, I will keep  it for now.  Once the estate is settled I am seriously going to start to look for another job, hopefully in a new field as well.

I love doing the radio show, and recently have been asked if I do workshops.  I am seriously going to start to think about that and perhaps be able to carve out a living at both.

Damn that felt good to say about my job.. been frustrated at work lately…

Last night I ventured out on my own to a well known play party in S.W. Ontario. On the drive there, I started to think how alone I really was.  I know, I have many friends who love me dearly and a son, who is still a pain in the ass, but is there for me as well.  My mom’s friends and sisters, call me almost every night to make sure I am okay. They all tell me they are all just a phone call away, and I know most would drop everything and run to me if I was in trouble.

I am very blessed to have such a wonderful network of people who care for me, and I care for them and know they are my strength, some more then others.  But I still feel lost and even in the crowd of friends and loved ones I feel alone.

There are things in my heart and thoughts that I will never express as I do not wish to burden my friends with my sadness.  I am scared if I start to cry and allow myself to feel the lost of my mother completely, I will never stop crying.  As I know I still cry for my dad.  I feel doubt,  as I was the one who told the doctors, that my mother had a living will, stating DNR, and I am the one who said if she wasn’t going to have quality of life to let nature take it’s course.

Through all this it amazes me how I go forward, I still laugh, I still smile and I still hug all my friends.  I sing in the car and sometimes cry at the songs that are playing as they remind me of my mom and dad.

I even play with friends and enjoy being who I am.  It’s just different now.  I have no one to go to and ask those questions I would ask my mom, I have no one to help me make choices in my life.  I have to rely on all that my mom and dad taught me and trust myself.

I know in time things will not hurt as much and I will find my footing again, as much as I feel unsure of myself, I know I am a strong, independent woman, who knows the direction I am going and who I am deep inside, this event  will only make me stronger and more self aware and self assured.   And I can thank my mom and dad for that as well as my friends and loved ones who will allow me to live through this and be there when I need them.