Ask Lady Joan

I have been off line for 9 years.  In those 9 years I have had 4 serious D/s relationships.  Serious as in it was an on going and the D/s was more serious then the vanilla side of things.  Which I always find difficult, as in reality I live both a D/s life as well as a vanilla one.

Most of the 9 years I have been on my own, with only play friends to release my sadistic side.  I have always found it difficult to D/s with friends as I think of the D/s of this lifestyle more then just play.  It is a mind set and for a mind set I think one has to be more serious with the person.

The sadistic side of me, is easily fed, with people that I know that are masochistic and one of the serious relationships I had was a 4 year play period only.  So in fact I  then could say I had 3 serious relationships in 9 years.

The finding of those who want to play and be collared is not the difficult part, as I have a line up of subs and slaves wanting to be at my feet.  The difficulty is finding the right chemistry.  It is not unlike many vanilla relationship, finding one who fits.  Only difference is our dynamics are different.

I keep searching, and once in a while I believe I find the sub or slave that I believe will fit to my want list.  I get just as excited every time I do, but I find the more times that things don’t work out, that I don’t get as distressed as I just think, keep looking and remember what you learned from that experience.

I encourage others to do the same, take your time, make a list of things you want and things you definately don’t want.  Ask all kinds of questions and be honest with yourself and to the person that you are considering.  Don’t rush in as you still can have a lot of fun with play friends.  Don’t settle to have a quick fix and don’t give up.

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 20th, 2009 at 12:25 pm and is filed under My Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.